I just finished Sacred Quest by Doug Banister. He is the same author of a popular book The Word and Power Church. Back in 2009 when I was in Knoxville for some equipping, our training site happened to be on the same floor as Banister’s office. Recognizing his name I knocked on his door to say hi to him. After a few minutes of conversation he gave me Sacred Quest saying that I might need it some day.
The day came as I recently felt the Lord prompt me to read his book. One line captured my heart, “The right person in the wrong place will kill him.” A few chapters later, Banister writes this story:
“Few men have been more destined for greatness than Meriwether Lewis. The brilliant American explorer whose leadership of the famous Lewis and Clark expedition to the Pacific and back ranks with Columbus, Magellan, and Cook as one of the world’s greatest adventurers. The son of a Virginian gentleman farmer, Lewis joined the Virginia militia during the Whiskey Rebellion and quickly rose through the ranks, earning a reputation as a man who knew the wilderness and the Indians who inhabited it as well as anyone could. When a fellow Virginian named Thomas Jefferson, newly inaugurated as the third president of the United States, invited him to become his personal assistant, Captain Lewis accepted and found himself swept up in one of the most electrifying moments of American history.
“Jefferson had a vision of one great nation spreading from coast to coast. He abhorred the thought of his precious continent being chopped up into warring nation-states as Europe had been. Concerned about advances from the French and Spanish, the president saw the need to explore the West and claim it for the United States. Even more important, he wanted to find a water passage linking the Atlantic with the Pacific. Lewis seemed uniquely fitted to lead such a dangerous journey, and Jefferson prepared him for the task by connecting him with key political and military figures in Washington and by apprenticing him with the nation’s leading scientists.
“Broad-shouldered, well-built, and over six feet tall, Lewis epitomized the Enlightenment optimism that pervaded Jefferson’s presidency. At 3:30pm on May 21, 1804, amid cheers from a crowd on the river bank, Lewis, Captain William Clark, and a party of two dozen soldiers set off up the Missouri River, cutting themselves off from civilization for 28 months. Only one soldier would not return.
“Lewis soon proved that Jefferson had chosen wisely. A gifted writer, he recorded in detailed journals the discovery of 178 new plants and 122 new species of animals. Adept at navigating the mysterious culture of the Indians, he crossed thousands of miles of hostile territory while hardly firing a bullet in self-defense. Respected by their troops, he and Clark began their lifelong friendship. They worked together to keep their team motivated and disciplined through subzero winters, near-starvation, and sickness.
“Eight thousand miles and twenty-eight months after they began, Lewis and his men finally arrived back in St. Louis on September 22, 1806. He had successfully led one of history’s most daring expeditions – and instantly became a national celebrity. ‘He was the fittest person in the world for such an expedition,’ Jefferson wrote of his young protégé. Filled with thrilling tales of grizzlies and fierce Indians, Lewis became the darling of Washington, cruising from one party to the next, drinking in toast after toast to ‘the brave captain’ who had achieved what no one had accomplished before him.
“Jefferson appointed Lewis governor of the Louisiana Territory shortly after his return. History shows this was a tragic mistake. The unique gifts and skills that made Lewis a brilliant explorer worked against him in his new role as politician and businessman. Frustrated with a new calling that was so different from one of his passions, and lacking a compelling vision for the future, Lewis became depressed and began to drink heavily.
“The man who navigated half a continent with barely a mistake seemed to have no idea how to make his way through the political obstacles he now confronted on every side. He became increasingly in debt, made no progress in publishing his much-anticipated journals, and fared poorly in a perpetual conflict with an angry subordinate. Worst of all, Lewis simply had no reason to live. The purpose for his life had ended when he had achieved his mission. Drained of motivation, he was unable even to begin the critical task of publishing his treasured journals. The fall of 1809 found Governor Lewis slipping ever deeper into despair. As autumn gave way to winter, the great solider began one final voyage to see his beloved mentor Jefferson. He never got there.
“Late in the afternoon of October 9, Governor Lewis arrived at Grinder’s Inn, seventy miles west of Nashville, deeply depressed and probably drunk. Early in the morning of October 11 he pulled out a pistol and shot himself in the head. The bullet missed. Lewis rose, shot himself once more in the chest, but failed again to end his life. When the sun rose, Mrs. Grinder’s children found the captain cutting himself with a razor. A few moments later, he died. He was thirty-five years old.
“Today Meriwether Lewis is buried along the Natchez Trace River near the old site of Grinder’s Inn. His grave is marked by a broken shaft, put there by the Tennessee legislature in 1849 as a symbol of ‘the violent and untimely end of a bright and glorious career.’”
The events surrounding Lewis’ “suicide” are debatable. Some say it was murder, not suicide. Some say it was a gunshot wound, not a razor blade. Nonetheless, the fact remains that the latter part of Lewis’ life was visionless. In the first part of his life he was the right person in the right place and he thrived. In the latter part he was the right person in the wrong place and that wrong place drove him to depression.
As I coach leaders I can tell that some feel like they are dying because they are the right person in the wrong place. Years ago they were the right person in the right place and they thrived. But over the years things changed: new passions, new direction, new gifts. But they were afraid to leave the position because they needed the money or they were scared of change. The longer one stays in the wrong position, the more the soul deteriorates.
Questions to think about:
Do you feel like you are the right person in the wrong place? Are you in the right role?
Is the Lord asking you to persevere in your current position because there are some things that need to be resolved relationally or character-wise?
Is the Lord asking you to move forward to something new but you are afraid?
If you know you are in the wrong role but choose to stay, what do you think will happen to you?
Where do you need to be to thrive?
© Gary Lau 2011
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