Five Things…I’m Learning About Continuing Well

These leadership lessons were created for a group of eight college students I mentored in July 2012 in Tracy, California.  As I was praying what to teach them, the Lord impressed upon my heart the need to give these students a head-start in their leadership, thus these lessons.

1. There are no shortcuts to integrity, but there are shortcuts to losing it

Over the past few years I’ve seen pastors fall by the wayside.  One pastor was found to have had multiple affairs.  He immediately resigned and quickly moved out of the state.  The church was left in chaos and it took years for the people and the church to recover.  Another pastor, who was married with three children, had an infatuation for a teenage girl.  He was released from his position.

There are not enough leaders who are finishing well and one of the reasons is the lack of integrity.  The inside and outside of a leader don’t match.  The outside looks spiritually strong, but the inside is full of sin, deceit, darkness, and secrecy.

This is where a daily, private time with the Lord comes in.  It is during these times the Holy Spirit can correct one in private before being corrected in public.  Dr. J. Robert Clinton once told me the devotional life of a leader falls long before the leader falls.

Therefore a leader needs to protect his/her integrity.  It takes a lifetime to gain but can be lost instantly.  Once sin is allowed in a leader’s life, it is a fast slope to compromise.  This is why I appreciate the example of Daniel and his three friends.  They chose not to compromise in what they believed.

There are no shortcuts to integrity, but there are shortcuts to losing it.

2. Don’t be too quick to pray away difficult times

In my formative years as a Christian everytime a difficult time would arise, I would pray it away.  If there was a conflict with another person, a lack of money, a traffic accident that would make me late, or a sickness, I would ask God to take it away; heal the relationship, bring unexpected money, allow me to bypass the traffic, or heal me immediately.  If it still didn’t go away, I would pray spiritual warfare prayers invoking the name of Jesus against Satan’s schemes.

I am now learning God sometimes allows difficult times so our character can be shaped into what He desires it to be.  Sometimes He allows a conflict so we learn how to work with others; He allows a lack of money so we can learn to be content with what we have; He allows a traffic accident to teach us patience; and He allows physical difficulties so we humble ourselves.  Some of the best teachers can be difficult times.

There will be times when spiritual warfare comes.  During those times I will pray against Satan’s schemes in the name of Jesus.  But if the situation remains I will ask God to teach me all the lessons He wants me to learn during this time.

Don’t be too quick to pray away difficult times.

3. I need to see ministry with a lifetime perspective

I started doing ministry almost 30 years ago, when I was 18 years old.  When I was about 25 years old I decided I wanted to be in full-time ministry. I asked God what His will for me life was.  I asked God what he wanted me to do because whatever it was, I wanted to do it with excellence.  I was committed to doing what was in my gifting and doing it well.

At 18 years old I thought I would be doing youth ministry for many years.  But then around 26 years old I discovered I couldn’t keep up teenagers anymore.  My attention turned towards administration and I thought I would be doing that for the rest of my life.  But then around 37 years old I discovered details frustrated me.  My attention turned towards teaching and I thought I would be doing that for the rest of my life.  Now I’m 47 and I’m discovering God is moving me once again towards other interests.

What I’m learning is there are different phases in the life of a leader.  Dr. J. Robert Clinton calls these development phases.  There is early ministry, middle ministry, and later ministry, and each phase emphasizes something different.  Around the mid-20’s there is a decision towards a life purpose, around the mid-40’s there is a desire to make the second half of life really count, and around the 60’s there is a desire to leave a legacy.

Understanding one’s ministry in terms of a lifetime perspective will take away frustration.  God is in the business of continually shaping and sharpening our character towards our destiny and will use different phases to do this.  Thus I need to learn how to pace myself and expect ups and downs in ministry.  God is not in a rush although we sometimes are.

I need to see ministry with a lifetime perspective.

4. My first ministry is to my family

In 2006 Andy Stanley spoke at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit.  His topic was “My Best Leadership Decision.”  He came to the realization that throughout his ministry life his unsaid prayer was that he loved the church and asked the Lord to bless his family for the times he wasn’t there for them.  He eventually saw this view was wrong.  It wasn’t about loving the church and asking God to bless his family but about loving his family and asking God to bless the church.  In other words his first ministry was to his family, not the church.

When I started full-time ministry, my wife felt as if she was hanging on to a chariot because of all the work I did for the church.  She thought, “How can I compete for Gary’s time when he is doing the Lord’s work?”  When I realized I put her in that position, I had to change my lifestyle.

Today I have set boundaries for myself.  I try to do as much ministry during non-family times and I leave my nights and weekends free for my family.  Here’s what I’ve come to realize: my first ministry is to my family; if my family fails no other ministry will matter.  I’ve seen pastors do great in ministry, but their family is on life-support.  What good is it if the most important people in your life are dying but you have a thriving ministry?  I’d rather have a thriving family and a dying ministry.

My first ministry is to my family.

5. The more influence I have, the more humility I need

When I started doing Bible seminars in early 2003 around the state, I thought it was all about me.  I would be going from church to church, teaching the Bible and I could see people understanding the Bible in a clearer and concise way.  I thought I was God’s gift to the churches.

In 2004 I was diagnosed with cancer, and although I went to three different pastors with the gift of healing, God still allowed cancer to reside in my body.  It was during this season, as I was going through chemotherapy and radiation to heal my body, God was healing my heart.  It was during this season I learned a very important lesson: I needed to have humility.  Life wasn’t about me, it was about God and His glory, and what I did as I conducted Bible seminars was rob God of His glory.  I needed to get out of the way so God could be made famous.

Today I’ve learned to be humble in all situations.  I’ve learned to not desire people’s attention.  Everybody’s attention needs to be on God, not me.

The more influence I have, the more humility I need.

Question to Think About:
What lessons are you currently learning about continuing well?

© Gary Lau 2012
All rights reserved.  This article may not be distributed, forwarded or duplicated without prior permission from the author.


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