Over the past few years I’ve seen my share of pastors fall by the wayside. A few years ago a local pastor was found to have had multiple affairs with different ladies within his congregation. This pastor’s presence was so strong that no one was willing to ask him the hard questions. When the discovery was made, he quickly packed up and left town, not willing to go through the necessary counseling and healing he needed. Sadly, this scenario is repeated year after year: Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Mike Warnke, Ted Haggard. Why don’t we have enough good leaders who last?
Paul Stanley and Dr. J. Robert Clinton quote Dr. Ronald B. Allen, “Sex, money and power are not evil in themselves. They are gifts of God, designed by Him to be used for good pleasure and God’s glory. But so easily they corrupt, so profoundly they destroy. It appears to me that the only escape for those in leadership positions is to do what the rest of us have to do and that is be responsible to others. Leaders – and their people – need to surround themselves with a circle of accountability. Leaders – and their people – need to expect of themselves the same moral, ethical and personal standards of behavior which they demand of others.”
Accountability to God is important, but accountability to others is just as important. No believer is an island. God created us in community and for community so that we would all grow together. One of the reasons God surrounds us with other believers is so that we would help each other. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” This is why we have so many good leaders who fall…there is no one to lift them up.
Stanley and Clinton say in their book Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life, “Unfortunately, most leaders fail to recognize their need for a network of significant relationships until something happens that reveals their aloneness and vulnerability. [The believer’s] burden is to ‘blow the whistle’ before the game is lost so as to alert [other] believers and growing leaders to this urgent need and encourage them to do something about it.” Their solution is “a relational network that embraces mentors, peers, and emerging leaders in order to ensure development and a healthy perspective on his or her life and ministry.” In other words, we all need a Constellation of Mentors.
A Constellation of Mentors is made up of three groups of people: Upward Mentors, Peer Mentors, and Downward Mentors. Upward Mentors are those who are mature believers who can pour into you the wisdom that comes from experience. Peer Mentors are those who are on the same level with you and you keep each other accountable. Downward Mentors are those who you pour into, yet they hold you to a higher standard. Over the next few weeks I’ll be explaining these three different groups.
Some may think they don’t need a Constellation of Mentors. They say they are fine. I once met a pastor who said he only needed one mentor. This pastor is setting himself up for failure. Why? Because he is only being accountable to one person. This pastor doesn’t understand the frailty of leaders. For if this one mentor falls, there is no one else to keep him accountable. You need to prevent this from happening to yourself.
We all need a Constellation of Mentors if we want to finish well.
Questions to Think About:
Are there a number of people who can ask you the hard questions to keep you accountable?
Who are the different mentors in your life?
© Gary Lau 2013
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