(Updated from the original posting of July 9, 2009)
This morning my wife and I met with a young woman who was part of my theology small group many years ago. She has since become a missionary to Japan and she was back in the islands for some rest. Over the course of our conversation I asked her what her dreams were. She said one of them was to lead worship overseas. I asked her what was stopping her. She said it was fear. I asked her fear of what. She said fear of failure.
I looked straight into her eyes and said, “Let me tell you something that will free you up. You have permission to fail.” I could see the tears welling up in her eyes.
I think one of the reasons many people are afraid to take risks is because they are afraid to fail. The culture we live in nonverbally says, “You must do things perfectly,” or “We don’t have time to fail,” or “You will bring shame to yourself.” But it’s been my experience that some of the best life lessons come from trying and failing.
Another reason people are afraid to take risks is because they don’t want to make mistakes. Let me tell you something. Leaders will always make mistakes. But here’s the difference between an immature leader and a mature leader. An immature leader will make the same mistakes over and over again. A mature leader will make new mistakes.
An immature leader doesn’t learn from his mistakes and is bound to repeat them. A mature leader will learn from his mistakes and make adjustments so that it doesn’t happen again. And as he grows he will make new mistakes.
But in order for a leader to learn from his mistakes the environment needs to allow that to happen so the result is growth, not fear. Therefore in your areas of influence create environments where it’s okay to fail.
This is something I do in my classes. From day one I tell the students this class is a great place to make mistakes. This is what I tell them both verbally and in their notes, “If you make a mistake, I want you to make it here.” That gives them the freedom to think out loud and express their thoughts without feeling they will make a mistake or say something stupid. Classrooms, mentoring groups, small groups – all great places to make mistakes. These are places of learning, not places where everything has to be perfect.
When I was a young boy my hobby was magic. Every Saturday morning I would take the bus from Kahala to a magic shop on Alakea Street to take magic classes. Our teacher, Jimmy Yoshida, also known as Tengu the Magician, would patiently teach these young students the fine art of Cups and Balls, Color Changing Silks, and the Linking Rings. I remember that every once in a while when I got up to show my trick it would fail miserably because of a slip of a finger or forgetting what came next. But Mr. Yoshida would still say, “Good job, you did well, keep working at it.” He was such an encourager, but moreso he created an environment where it was okay to fail. He wanted us to fail in class so we wouldn’t fail when we performed our tricks in public.
In your areas of influence, create an environment where it’s okay for people to fail. That’s one of the ways they will grow.
Questions to think about:
Think back on a leader who allowed you to make mistakes. What did you learn from that experience?
In your area of leadership, do you give others permission to make mistakes?
Are you allowed to make mistakes?
© Gary Lau 2012
All rights reserved. This article may not be distributed, forwarded or duplicated without prior permission from the author.
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